Glimmers
Whether through therapy or social media, today in popular culture many people are aware of the idea of triggers. Being “triggered” is commonly known as having an emotional and/or physical response to something outside of ourselves, maybe a song that we danced to with a past love or maybe the tone that reminds us of a caregiver who constantly criticized us. If we’ve experienced trauma, certain sensory stimuli can trigger us to involuntarily re-experience memories of hard things from our past. Triggers often cause our nervous systems to respond and move into a stage of fight, flight, or freeze.
There is a lesser known concept developed by polyvagal theorist Deb Dana, LCSW called glimmers. Almost the opposite of triggers, “Glimmers refer to small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation, which cues our nervous system to feel safe or calm.” Glimmers are completely individual, and they signal to our brain and body that we are ok.
What are some glimmers for me?:
Holding my warm cup of coffee in the morning
Sharing a funny anecdote from the previous evening with my co-workers
Giving my little ones a hug when we get home from school pickup
Listening to the “Armchair Expert” theme song when I start a new episode
Seeing a sunrise
How do we know if something is really a glimmer? We should be able to feel our nervous systems regulating when we experience them. One way to notice this is that our breathing and our heartbeat becomes more regular. As a therapist, I often work with folks on recognizing and reducing the impact of triggers. This is important work, and often requires therapeutic support to focus on healing trauma. For folks that have experienced trauma, feeling regulated or safe does not necessarily come easy. However, in therapy, and in life in general, it’s so important for us to not only work on healing the hard, but actively seeking out the good.
One reason why planning for glimmers is important, is that our brains are designed to focus on the negative. Psychologist Rick Hanson explains this by saying that our brains are teflon for the good, and velcro for the negative. He explains that this makes sense when we consider how our brains evolved. It was way more important for us to remember where a tiger was hiding, than to remember where berries were growing. Remembering the first could be the difference between life and death. The second is important, but not essential. Focusing on the negative is a way our brains evolved to protect us.
Glimmers are not a solution to trauma or major mental health challenges, but they can be part of the healing process and helpful for anyone. We can all train our brains to start focusing more on the good things by intentionally experiencing them more often. I also love this language also of “glimmer” because it doesn’t ring of toxic positivity. Perhaps life is full of pain right now, but that doesn’t mean pain cannot coexist with a glimmer of something else at the same time.
What are three glimmers that you know of right now in your own life:
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How can you actively seek these out over the next week?
Learn more about triggers and glimmers in the following articles:
What does it mean to be triggered?
